MY DAWN HAS FINALLY COME

   If you ask those who know me well they will tell that I have been complaining a lot recently (recently = last 3 years) about how bad my life has become, but the reason I was complaining was that my life really sucked, not a single problem were solved without 2 bigger problems enter my life, and that is why about a month ago I decided just to leave behind me the life in amman, that was suppose to improve things, but it didn’t, friends kept nagging about how stupid it is just to give up after 3 years of hard work and patience,  guilt kept me awake all night, etc etc etc, but things has finally started to get MUCH BETTER!

   WEll I wanted to write a post about the good things that are happening in my life in the last 2 weeks, and I did write it several times, but I didn’t ”publish” it because I was afraid I would jinx my new good luck, however now I have to share the good news.

first of all about 2 weeks ago things were so “dark” I was haveing a terible depression, sitting in fron of my PC just staring at the screen doing nothing, and suddenly a friend logged on and sent me a hi on MSN, I wanted to ask to meet him, as he got this special way of getting your mind of the daily life problems, well he asked how I was doing and I answered with total honesty, after explaining he offered to help me with one of my problems, and thats when things started to imporve in my life. Two days later he kept his promise, and I solved in one strick 2 of my BIG problems. so THANK YOU LARRO!!!

a few days after that I called another friend to help me shop for a birtday present for one of my BEST friends, and we had a nice time chit chating in the car, went to macca mall, then had lunch togather, and I really enjoyed those few hours, so THANK YOU JOANNA!!   (PS: we found Rovers closed it seems they are rebuilding the whole place)

After that I took a Taxi to my friend’s house to attend the birthday party, which was really nice, small and lovely, the cakes were GREAT (norwegian cakes were available) nice hang out at the perfect balcony, and expensive champain.

but things didn’t stop there, the other day I met Lana and Dana, friends from AIESEC and out of the bloom Lana suggested a solution to one of my BIGGEST problems, a so simple solution that I feel STUPID for not thinking about it, it was right there infront of me,  so THANK YOU LANA!!!

and just to make things even better, the same day my VERY GOOD friend Kloude called and said that she got accepted in the university in the USA she had applied to, so the good news just kept flooding my day, its one of the best feelings you can have!

well these are just some of the good things that have been happening lately, WOW I LOVE MAY… oh I forgot to mention the GREAT time I spent with Maha and Isabel, it was so wonderfull I didn’t want it to end, well actually I wanted the eating part to end, because I was sooooo full I couldn’t breath, any way now that my life is back on the good track, I’ll be posting more details soon.

PS: Because of these good events, I am back to the plan to go to the USA this summer.

Have a lovely day every one, and be blessed!!!

its not as bad as it seems

Let me start with “WOW this is a great day”, for the last few weeks things have been worse then ever, perhaps I have had a lot of problems in my life, and usually new ones come before the old ones go, but in the last 4 or 5 weeks the problems have been gigentic, and worse then ever, some even looked un-solvable,  one of which was my major life changing plan, which went down the toilet for some simple reasons.

well after all those things happening I decided to no longer give a damn, and just enjoy life for a few days, which of course led to my life getting worse, so yesterday I totally LOST hope for things to ever get any better, and I assumed that I’ll live a few months in “hell” and then if I survive I’ll have a missrable life, and if I don’t survive… well at least it will all be over. but as they say “ every night has a sun rise right after it” and today while I was just wishing things would have been different, I guy I know came online , its been some time since I have seen him, tho the other day we were suppose to meet but things didn’t go as planned, any way, out of frustration and nothing to do, I was going to say hi and see if he would like to just have some fun, so after the simple hi and hello, he asked how I was and I answered very honestly, and in less then 5 minutes he had offered to help me getting out of the difficult spot I was in, I couldn’t believe it, I was jumping up and down and so exited my eyes were about to pop out, well I got a lot of things to replan now so let me end my post with a heart warm thanks to my friend Larro, I can’t thank you enought

KEEP HOPE UP EVERY ONE, THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE IF YOU JUST LOOK FOR IT

Interview at USA ambassy in Amman

 Those who know me, must know that a few months ago I decided to go on a culture exchange program to the USA this summer, and a short while ago there was a few complications that made me decide withdraw from the program, but still insisting on going to the USA for the summer, a shorter while ago my whole life plan changed, and the US trip was cancelled along with MANY other things, (I’ll write all about that in another post, while reading this you might find that post already written), any way a lot of my close friends who I told about the change in plan, (and I expected support from them) got really angry at me, and said that I was totally stupid ( totally stupid wasn’t their words, but it has the same basic meaning ) any way, this united stand of my friends (who rarely have a total agreement on anything) made me think that I might have over-looked something, so I decided to rethink about EVERYTHING, and until  that is over, I’ll take steps from both plans , the old one and the new one, which means I have to continue with the plan to get the visa and go to the USA for the summer.

So here is how it went; I filled in every form online, some of these forms had the most stupid questions you can imagine, like for example ” are you a member of a terrrorist group?”, as if I would answer yes if I was, plus if I was a member of any group like that, I wouldn’t call it or concider it a terrorist group. so the forms with all its questions were filled, and I took an apointment  from online, it was the 22′nd of April 2007, at 9 am, good enought ha?, well it said that I should be there 15 minutes before my interview, and any delay will cancell my apointment, NO EXCEPTIONS!,. and I was like thank God its organised, I was very happy, that things were going well, so on the 22′nd of April I reached the ambassy at 8:15 am, thats 45 minutes before my apointment, and there was a line, so I took a place in line, waiting my turn, 55 minutes passed as I was waiting in that line, I started to get worried because I wouldn’t be able to get inside at 9 am as my apointment said, so I asked the security guard if I should simply give up and make another apointment as mine that day would be cancelled (NO EXEPTIONS were in BIG RED letters) , but he said it was ok, and as long as I had an apointment that day, and was able to get in before they closed then things would be fine , so much for organised and time respect, well after the first line, there was a 2′nd line, and after the 2′nd line there was another waiting area, and I was after all that waiting in a smoke free area, I was called for my interview at 12:20, YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!, the interviewer was sooo nice and friendly, but still in a serious way, and she reminded me of one of my nannies in Norway, she was 90% identical, any how after 2 short questions she asked to take my finger print scan, which was ok with me, but really they should have some kind of cleaning spray or something there, I mean that scan pad must have been touched but hundreds of different people daily, who knows what kind of germs are just waiting to attach itself to you, but I did the scan anyway, the interview itself took less then 5 minutes, she said that she can’t see any reason for me not to get the VISA, but because I only got the Norwegian nationality, and was born there, they need to do a bit extra stuff, so she gave me my passport back and said that they will conntact me withing 8 to 10 days, hopefully this time they are SERIOUS about the time.

 now the after effect of the interview, well I missed my lecture,  and this was really the wrong lecture to miss, (every lecture is the wrong lecture to miss) , I talked to a few friends and they said that being on hold for 8 to 10 days, means that I got the VISA but they simply need a bit more time to issue it for me, I hope they are right, oh and I met and befriended a few people who was waiting in line with me, really nice and informative chats, I was also able to pass by Abdon Mall for some ice-cream after I finished. and now the only thing I can do is wait ( I am adapting to the waiting act, its not as hard as many people imagine, at least I imagined it to be MUCH harder)

till  later, have fun everyone, wish me GOOD luck, and remember :

     “life embraces you in the same attitude you embrace life”

I know I know, LONG TIME NO SEE

It has literaly been ages since I wrote anything in my blog, I know that writing a small post now and then wouldn’t have taken much time, but I have been more busy then you can imagine, to make things worse I have not only been busy but I have also ben in one of the worse moods ever, though I have every right to be in that mood, because life has really been a ***** to me lately (more then usual).

well lets see, what have happened since my last post that is important??? A LOT OF THINGS, most are bad, or even worse then bad, but on the stupid bright side I am still alive and kicking.

  Why have I gotten back to my blog??? good question, well the answer is simple, in the last 2 months I have done a lot of things I have kind of regreted (by the way I am agaist regreting anything, what has been has been, and can not be changed) but 2 days ago I did one of the worse things I have ever done in my life (I am not going to mention details), so I was thinking; perhaps I can not change what I did, perhaps I can not change the past, but there are things that I can change, so I made another long term plan, which includes comeing back to my glories blog…. so here I am!

from now one and according to my plan, there will be at least one post per week, (my weeks start on Mondays) , at least till the beginning of June, then after that I don’t know whether I can wright anything in my blog for 3 months, I’ll explain why later.

so till my next post have a pleasent and blessed moments

Its been almost a year, time to change strategy

 A few days ago I changed the message on my MSN to “Life is ups and downs, so where the hell is my ups?”… perhaps I should explain why and what I mean by it.

  According to my diary evern since March 2006, I have faced one major problem in my life after another, I am not saying that my life was peacfull before that, but it was more normal (in other words it had its ups and downs), but now every single “up” in my life only brings a REALLY BAD DOWN, when ever I find  a solution to a problem, either a worse problem comes up because of the solution, or the solution gets stopped because of a totally new problem.

   I might try to keep my hope up, and without my sarcasm I don’t know if I could have done it till now, but my hight spirit seems to getting to tired, a few months ago a simple night out with my friends and some fun could keep me going for weeks, now not even a 24 hour doing everything I LOVE can keep me optimistic for more then a day or two.

 The worse about all this is that I recently had the chance of doing a few things I have always dreamed about, but this situation is stopping me from doing it, and to its makeing me brake my promises that I gave to peole I totaly respect, and there is nothing I can do about it…

I have tried everything I could think of, walking for hours, meditiating at sunrise, takeing time for a deep logical planning, changing my cigarets, getting wasted, even ignoring my problems and hopeing they will go away, but nothing have worked, not even a bit.

This is why I have made my choice, unless some dramtic change happens within 2 months, I will leave Jordan, that would mean that I would need to put my education on hold for a years, perhaps I’ll even need to start from the begining later on, but it is a risk and a sacrifice I am willing to take.

it was my dream and plan to remain in Jordan for a while, even after I graduate, so that I can be a part of changing the local sociaty, I voulentered to teach young students, with the hope that if I changed a few young people, and someone else changed a few others then soon enought a chain reaction would start, and it would no longer concidered strange if you read a small novel under a tree in the university (I remember the first time I read a book under a tree here, people found it very interesting, and came to have a look at the “strange show”),  any way, sometimes we don’t get what we want, and sometimes dreams just remains dreams.

On the bright side… well things  don’t seems so bright to me today, perhaps it will tomorow.

Your help is needed

As a human community we are suppose to stick togather,  join forces, and help eachother in time of need, and as people from the 21′st century we are suppose to use technology for our advantage, so by those two things I here by ask each and everyone of you who live in Jordan to help my friend.

My friend recently got her first car, but  due to the existence of barbaric idiots in the Jordanian sociaty it got stolen, so I am adding a link to the post on her webpage with the cars discription and a picture comeing soon hopefully, please be a responcible and serious person, and spread the word, and keep your eyes open, you never know when you’ll be in a similar situation and will need some help (what goes around comes around)

http://aminoholic.com/2007/01/29/my-cars-stolen/